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English language on maternity leave - AJ na MD

2. prosince 2011 
@hlavinka Thanks for your congratulation. I see it´s nothing extraordinary to wait long time for the first baby and after that concieve the second one right away :slight_smile: Also my doctor says that happens. I think it could be a matter of psyche - at least in my case. That´s fine your daughter wakes up only to be feeded. Although to be up three or four times per night must be tiring, isn´t it?
I start to look for a baby carriage for siblings now. My son isn´t walking yet so I think it would be necessary.
And I live in Zlin.

@blandik I wish you to be happily pregnant soon. What exactly forwarding company means? Zasilatelství? And what kind of new career are you thinkink of? Some helping profession?
16. říj 2011 v 19:38  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
autor @choco Maybe it is because of the stress at work for the first time. Of course, you have busy time at home with the child too, but it is not so much hard as at work.
Yes, I am tired after the night. She waked up 5x per night this weekend:frowning2: Uf. And no chance to go sleep trough the day:frowning2: (is it correct "trough"?)
Maybe you have a time to come by the baby carriage for siblings, your son could start walking in a few months, couldn´t he? But yes, if he will not walk, it would be important to have it.
17. říj 2011 v 07:20  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@hlavinka As you write I suppose my son should start walking maybe around the New Year. Still I am not sure if he will be so good walker to go on his own legs to doctor or supermarket or for a longer walk with us by April. I have no experience with that yet. The best solution would be to wait until the little one is born a then make the decision. But I have to care about that early since I don´t want to buy a new carriage but used. And as to my favourite ones - ABC Design Zoom or Inglesina Domino - there are not so many offers on the internet.
Oh five times through the night is really bad. My so still wakes up about three times, he wants his bottle. I give him only watter hoping he would give it up. I completely understand that you have no time to sleep during the day with two kids around. I wish you better night sleep soon.
Is your older daughter going to attend kindergarten when she turns three years?
17. říj 2011 ve 12:45  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@blandik I know exactly what you're talking about... Once you have family it is hard to move on again and change the direction in your life. As I mentioned to Hlavinka I miss Czech but for once I married an English bloke, I'm having his child and I couldn't deprive my husband of one precious moment that goes with raising your kids up. I spoke to my mum on the phone the other day and said to her that when I'm on maternity leave we're planning on going to Czech and stay there for a month. She jumped on it and said: "Why don't you stay for 6 months?" At which point I turned around and said that Steve won't be able to take such long time off work. She suggested I stay there for longer without him and that really annoyed me because that would mean that Steve would see his baby for 6 long months, his/her first smile, first words etc.. I wouldn't want him to miss any of that... Anyway.. Three years on mat. leave is such long time! Although I'm kind of jelaous because here in UK you get 1 year tops. But on the other hand you go back to work and you still remmeber how everything works :slight_smile:

@hlavinka We go back to Czech about once or twice a year.. It depends.. Every other year we go back to Czech for Christmas and stay with my mum, any other time we stay at home and my mum comes over. It works really well at the moment. This year is going to be our last xmas on our own and yet again we're driving to Czech. We're staying in UK next xmas when we have our little one.. It'll be much easier and I love Christmas at home (in UK I mean) :slight_smile:
17. říj 2011 ve 14:55  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@hlavinka - I was in Denmark in my last year of studies at University, I should have spent there only one term originally, but in the end I could stay there also the other one, but had to write my final thesis, I had to find a teacher who would adivise me on the topic, I wrote it in English and then had hard time at home thinking how all the terms are in Czech...But it was really good experience, I would love to experience it again.
To struggle with st. - means someting like to fight, have not much time, lots of work...
Danish is a combination of English and German - some mixture,and they have their tv broadcasting only with danish subtitles (i.e. without danish dabbing), lots of movies in English, so the danish subtitles helped me to understand spoken English in TV :wink: I speak German too and Polish as well..
Right now I am at home again, as my babyboy is sick, laryngitida - after a week of work, I am at home again...
17. říj 2011 ve 14:55  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@choco wow your due date is 20th Apr, mine is on 25th Apr :slight_smile: We'll have to stay in touch in case our bambinos are born on the same day haha... Have you got any preference in terms of whether it's going to be girl or boy? My scan is due tomorrow afternoon - I can't wait. My colleagues don't know anything yet but after we've had our scan I will tell them then.. At the moment they think I'm going to London to pick up my passport :grinning:
17. říj 2011 ve 14:58  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@babsiegirl - must be hard for your mum too, but perfectyl understand what you mean. This is your family and you cannot leave it for a longer time, deprive your husband of it, kids grow so fast, changing every day...mutual relationships are developing...I could not imagine it either.
Yes, the Czech system with its 3 years of maternity leave is very generous (even four are possible), on the other hand the employers here are not much used to taking back mummies "on shorter hours"...But still one year top sounds harsh, they are still such little babies, many of them not even walking...How parents solve this upthere? Taking on a babysitter? Cannot imagine this...
17. říj 2011 v 15:05  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@choco - right, forwarding means - zasílatelství. I am not sure what to do next, while on maternity leave I tried to cope with (cannot recall the name the English use for vzdor), lets say anger of my baby, and came across a book on communication with babies, it workes really nice, helped us a lot , and I started to see so much misunderstanding between babies and parents..I was thinking about teaching maybe...
17. říj 2011 v 15:21  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@blandik Well lot of people do come back to work (it is a law here that company has to hold your position until you're ready to come back, maximum of 1 year though, like I said). Like you said, lot of kids are not even walking yet so parents are also entitled to different hours - even if they wanted to come back just as part time they are allowed to do that. And they put their children into nurseries. Company I work for has got quite a good scheme - there's a nursery just down the road and we ged discounted rate over there. But still, nursery and child care is soooo expensive in this country you wouldn't believe! I think I'm going to come back as a parttimer, work 2 or three days a week, depending how my husband gets on with his job. It's tricky because he is self-employed so we don't know what future is going to bring.. BTW nice idea about teaching.. would it be to do with parent/baby communication? I think it is realy nice to give something back to the comunity especially if you have your own experience...
17. říj 2011 v 15:55  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
autor @choco If your son will walk maybe you can buy just the skateboard - something like this http://www.detskydum.cz/detail/babypoint-corado-skate-board-176401/ I used it in the summer, when we walked a lot and Adelka was tired in the afternoon. But now I really don´t need it any more. (We have this one http://www.detskydum.cz/detail/buggy-board-dtsk-stuptko-ke-korku-108901/ )

Adelka goes to the kindergarten three times per week. It is good, but some day I have to go to a doctor with Majda or do big shopping etc.
18. říj 2011 v 07:05  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
autor @babsiegirl You are right, your husband (and your little) is your family now and you can not stay long time without him.
I think you made it up well for the xmas and the rest of the year. Good!

@blandik Good experience, yes. And Polish also?:slight_smile: Nice.
I studied German too, but I don´t like this language and have no chance to speak. Maybe if we would go to Znojmo for rest of our life, I would have to learn it again...But now I really don´t need.
Once the children start to go to the kindergarten it is hard to work all the time with their sickness:frowning2: I hope your son will be healthy soon.
18. říj 2011 v 07:13  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
autor @babsiegirl So you would have a nurse - some student or something? Or some girl from Czech Republic:grinning: One year is short time:frowning2: 2 will be perfect I think... Or maybe you would have the second child soon....

I can not imagine my work after 6 years:frowning2: And the second think is that the kindergartens are opened only untill 5 p.m. And my work ends at 5:30 p.m. No chance to be in time for the children. So I should work for the part-time, but it could be a problem. The employers are not so accommodating at this time:frowning2: But we will see. I have more than 2 years to solve it.
18. říj 2011 v 07:21  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
autor @babsiegirl Oh, what does exactly mean babsiegirl?
18. říj 2011 v 08:55  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@blandik Wow that sounds interestingly. I find it very important and helpful to teach parents cope with anger (could anybody here suggest a better expression for vzdor?) of their kids. Even among my friends there are parents who are not able to handle it and therefore resigne. They allow their kids almost everything just to "keep peace". The result is that the kids have no consciousness of borders and the parents adjust to their whimsies. And what worse most of them (parents) await that the other people will submit to their kids too.

@hlavinka Thanks for a tip - I have heard about the skate before. Probably I´ll wait till the beginning of next year and then I´ll see.
That´s really big problem with the opening hours in kindergarten. Here in Zlin it is even shorter - they close at four or four thirty :frowning2: I have no idea how I would solve it with no grandmas around. But I don´t have to care about that for next three years.

@babsiegirl I dont care if it´s boy or girl. According to my feeling a girl would suprise me less than a boy. My husband preferes a girl since we have a boy already. And you? I wonder how your scan will be. Your baby must be six or seven centimetres big (long?) by now :slight_smile: Let us know :wink:
18. říj 2011 ve 12:10  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
autor @choco I agree with you - the free education is not good. I also think that parents are these who have to limit their children. Of course, I prefer world education and a few physical punishments, but sometimes it doesn´t work on another way. Do you know the book "Respektovat a byt respektovan"? I think it is good and I will try to use some advice. But Adelka is even so young so I will way with it, maybe next year or later....

It would be nice to have couple of the children but the most important thing is they will be healthy!
I am happy, that I have two daughters anyway.

And if the winter will be so cold and hard, maybe you should use sledge instead of skate and buggy:grinning: ( And me too....Last winter was horrible because of lot of snow:frowning2:
18. říj 2011 ve 13:15  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
autor Yuhuuu! I am very happy, I phoned to the public kindergarten near our home and they have one free place so Adelka will start go there from January:slight_smile:
18. říj 2011 v 15:33  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@hlavinka - oh, that is great that they have a vacancy for you girl, it will be a relief for you too...I know the book - Respektovat a byt respektovan, that is one of the books that inspired us, and it works wonderfully with us. I do not like free education either, but on the other had I see that traditional education with its whip and carrot is kind of outdated in these days, children tend to be less obedient even if punished physically...plus there comes to disconnection between children and parents, big misunderstandings, then comes lies, pretending...
well, I do not have time to continue writing, but I will return to it later....
19. říj 2011 v 08:57  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
right ladies, went to have my scan done yesterday, everything went well, baby seems healthy, we're just waiting for the blood results from Nuchal (for Dawn's Syndrom) According to the scan we're 14+2tt but I don't think that is the case because that would have meant that we concieved 1 week before my last period. So I'm still sticking to my original due date of 25th Apr (as opposed to 16th Apr) although the baby's about 83.6mm long

@hlavinka I cannot imagine what work would be after 6 years of maternity leave either! That is a long time! Babsiegirl doesn't really mean anything, that's just my nickname :slight_smile: my first name is Barbora and husband calls me Babs / Babsie sometimes BabsieGirl - we have stupid nicknames for each other :grinning: Oh and congratulations on the free space in nursery!

@choco My husband would like a girl as well, I though I wanted a girl too but then the more I think about it the more I wish for nothing more than a healthy baby.. :grinning:
19. říj 2011 ve 12:14  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
autor @babsiegirl Your nick is very nice, I like it:slight_smile: My husband started to call me Hlavinka (my first nema was Hlavackova), so I used it as my nick also.
Nice news about your child:slight_smile: I wish you to have girl:slight_smile: if you want it:slight_smile:
@blandik I agree with you. But the education of our children is very hard:frowning2: Sometimes I am sad and angry on me, because I shout on Adelka:frowning2: Yes, I say sorry to her latter, but you know....
19. říj 2011 ve 13:44  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@hlavinka Thank you, it looks like that the nicknames our hubbies give us stick with us for long time :slight_smile: Our next scan in end of Nov, begining of Dec and they should be able to tell us what sex the baby is.. We were also considering going for a 3D scan but we're not so sure now because it is nice to have a little surprise as what the baby's going to look like :slight_smile: Have you had a 3D/4D when you were pregnant with yours? I was thinking that I could come up with a little game for our friends - I'm thinking of not telling them what it's going to be whether boy or girl and they can then place bets :D

I wonder what I'm going to be like as a mum - Am I going to shout at my child if he/she's naughty? Or am I going to treat it like our dog (btw our dog has had very good training with no shouting or punishment and she's very obedient, - just in case you though that I don't treat my dog very well :grinning: ) People do say that training a dog is very similar to child upbringing haha :grinning:
19. říj 2011 ve 13:57  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
autor @babsiegirl Yes, we had 3D scan. And yes, Adelka looked like on the picture after her born:slight_smile: it is nice when you can see your baby before born.

I think that train a dog is easier:slight_smile: (I had a dog, so I can compare).

And what about the equipment for babies, do you think it costs more in UK than in CR? Because my friend maybe will move to UK and she is pregnant. I want to give her some things for baby, but how to move a buggy or something bigger to UK? So she would buy it in UK....I hope she will stay here....
19. říj 2011 ve 14:27  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@hlavinka oh no, and I though bringing the child up was going to be as easy as training my dog :grinning: hehe, maybe not then..
Well, I have been looking around for baby stuff on both Czech and UK websites and I can tell you know that there's not much of a difference. In fact lots of times I found certain makes of clothes/pushchairs/prams/travel cots slightly cheaper here in UK. It all depends where you shop though. Like H&M over here would probably work out slightly cheaper since it is UK make (I think) and it doesn't have to be imported to Czech if you know what I mean. But I could be wrong. So if your friend is thinking of moving to UK then I'd say she doesn't need to bring much stuff over from home because she will be able to get it over here. Even if it had to come from Ebay (brand new stuff obviously). Just for comparison, I bought our bed from Ebay and the shop I got it from had normal and ebay shop and although it was a same company, exactly the same bed from exactly the same company was cheaper on Ebay.
19. říj 2011 v 16:46  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@choco - when I was pregnant, we both had a strong feeling that it would be a boy, and it was :slight_smile: Wish you both healthy happy children :wink:
@babsiegirl - i was also wondering what a mum I will make and thought I would be a very strict parent, not letting any disobedience to happen...and the reality is quite the different. I cannot explain but the book - respektovat - really changed us, I moved from the attitude - child has to learn almost right from the beginning (lets say a year) his place and to do things and the sooner he learns it, the better - to attitude - we have to show our child why things are done in certain way and give him time to absorb it innerly, and the time can be very long...i.e. - tiding up - many people force their children to tidy up, they hide the toys or take them away if children do not obey...and the only result is that children start to perceive such activity as an unpleasant act, something they had to do just because of parents and they form a negative approach to such activity...It payed us more to comment on our own tidying up (mummie is goind to put the scisors "in their place" so that we can find it next time), make a fun of toy putting in place in the evening (by employing a big lory, sheep that comes to help, by doing it in 99percent myself and letting the child to have fun, just being present to such activity, parking cars in garage /shelves/ and after more than a year, our child has the inner feeling that when leaving some place, he should put things to their original place...taking it absolutely naturally. And the same comes for greeting, thanking, washing hands...that just by saying generally how things are done, by doing it ourselves and not forcing children when they do not want to (just expressing our disagreement with such behaviour and expressing that we expect him to do the right thing)....
It may sometimes seem as a free education because the forcing element is absent there and the surrounding may thing that the parental attitude is too weak, they expect parents to take an action...but i perceive as the bad attitude when parents use classical forcing methods - threatening, punishing, promissing some reward...and when it does not work then letting it be with words - do as you please...or slapping the child...to it has no educational value...
19. říj 2011 v 17:36  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
That is exactly what I did not want - that education of our child did not resemble drilling of a dog.... :sunglasses:
19. říj 2011 v 17:44  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
autor @babsiegirl :grinning: aha, I understand now...:slight_smile:

It is good that the children stuff is cheap in UK. But she would have my buggy, my cradle and car seat. Some clothes and toys I do not count...and all of these she would have free. Of course, she could take it to UK by plane, but it would cost a lot of money and it would be difficult to arrange that. (maybe not).

@blandik I forgot how old is your child? Oh, I see 3 years. I really try to use the book in practise but if she is furious I can do nothing:frowning2: everything is wrong:frowning2: I know it is only sometimes, but it makes me crazy....
But good point of the book is that you do not say: Don´t do it, but you say: it is not good to do it (I don´t know if I wrote the difference well, but I hope you understand me, what I mean). (nedelej to x nedela se)

I was a really good mum :slight_smile: till her 2 years (maybe little less), but now it is difficult:frowning2: I hope that this period ends soon and I will good mum again:slight_smile:
19. říj 2011 v 18:09  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@hlavinka - you are definitely a good mum to your children...Yeh, our boy just turned three two weeks ago - got a big pink cace - car :wink:

I know what you mean exactly - you talk generally rather than referring to the child with YOU - this can be done in this way, we do it this way.. which is not that acusing as You got dirty, you cannot do this...
You know when my child was about a year and half, he got so furious that I slapped him so hard that we both were in shock. That time I was absolutely sure I do not want to use physical punishment...SO I found Respektovat on the internet and started to use in real life...was kind of tough...but as everything it setlles with time...Maybe my experience could help you:
I am qute hot tempered, and at first I thought that I had to get even more angry if my child got angry, to stop his anger...But it did not work as I wished...So I started to work with his emotions - I imagined that he has his life, his system of importance to things, his feelings and that he is a different personality - basically - it is only him, who sets priorities to things, who know how he feels and what is importatnt to him at the moment - so i stopped judging his feelings, his right to get angry or to do things in his way...but rather stopped myself for a while (insted of fast response to his anger, trouble, crying...) and watched what he really wants, what it is that makes him angry, sad and tried to find nobel reasons for that (not that he wants to make mummie sad, angry too) and once I found the real reason I offered him empathy - OH, I know what it feels like when you cannot do something you really want ...and I just used this empathy while he was in emotions, once he setlled down, I gave him a simple explanation using a positive formulation - you would like to go with daddy, but he went to work and there he needs to be alone...So, I stopped judging his feelings or contemplating if he is right or wrong...and it payd so much, cos so many times (most of them) his motion to do something was noble ...and after a while he offered me a response : Mummi, it happens sometimes, I do understand...(when I was mad with myself...). So to me - it is very important to stay polite with a child, we do not need to agree with him, we may have a different idea of things, but we still can communicate it in polite way...because children copy our behaviour, but with a big time delay...
19. říj 2011 ve 20:09  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
I belive it is very necessary to raise children to be proactive, to think and judge things, to come up with solutions and ideas and this cannot be done if we dictate children every step they should make and judge their motions. So to me the biggest problem in the education nowadays is that parents tend to raise them traditionally, but being under pressure of - letting children breathe - they succomb often to their whipms (or how it is spelled), on one hand they want to have obedient children, on the other they want children to be assertive enough...so they want them to think, to be self-sufficient, but only in some cases, not when it is cross with parents...they want children to hold the older (including themselves) in dignity, but older people do not usually have dignity to children...if a child is good in their eyes, they praise the child, if he is "bad", they criticise him...and this is wrong, I believe...That is at least what our grandparents do - they have lots of talkes about how our child is good-mannered, and when he is bad-tempered, or simply does not want to do sometning, they start to be strict, criticising the child, his personality - and when I return it back to them - "attacing" them in the same way as they did to my child, they got so touched....so i believe in mutual dignity...Sorry, I got quite carried out with this topic...
19. říj 2011 ve 20:28  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@babsiegirl Oh your baby is really big :slight_smile: I would bet on 16th April :grinning:
@blandik It is wonderful if it works with your baby. But in my surrounding I can see that the traditional education - although not so tough and bad as you describe it :slight_smile: - is valuable. And thanks for your wish :slight_smile:
@hlavinka Cheer up! I actually don´t think that you should worry if you speak louder to your daughter when she repeatedly misbehaves. (I suppose you are not yelling on her whole the day :wink: )

Girls, sorry for my short replies, I have a limited access to internet now and next few days I am not gonna be here at all. So have a good time and "see you" later :slight_smile:
19. říj 2011 ve 20:37  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
@choco - sure, I was quite the same opinion when pregnant- I intended to be a very strict parent...Then we found a different way. You know, the trouble is that even governmental institution want schools, nurseries to work differently, but only ban teacher of slapping or other actions...but they do not really offer teachers (or parents) what they can do instead..so teachers still go in old ways, but are armless..
So, have a nice time....see you in couple of days.
19. říj 2011 ve 20:55  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
autor @blandik And for mw it is very hard to use it - I always must think up and sometimes I have to count till 10 untill I say something. But sometimes I shout anyway:frowning2: And then I hate my self :frowning2:
I agree with you, you wrote it very nice/well:slight_smile:

@choco No, no, of course I shout only sometimes:slight_smile: But you know...After all, I always think I could do it another way...I hope she will forgive me it in the future...

And do you know the book "..a deti jsou z nebe" from John Gray (he wrote also the books about men and woman - Mars and venus) - it is also good one.
20. říj 2011 v 11:50  • Odpověz  • To se mi líbí
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